Why are there so many Johnsons in the phone book? They all have phones.

What did one rabbit say to the other rabbit? Nothing. Rabbits can't talk.

What has four legs, is big, green, furry, and if it fell out of a tree would kill you? A pool table.

What did the elephant say to the naked man? How can you breathe through that?

What do Mack the Knife, Attila the Hun and Jabba the Hut have in common? The same middle name.

What do you get when you cross a pit bull with a collie? A dog that runs for help ... after he bites your leg off.

Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because there were no chickens in those times.

Friends will help you move. Real friends will help you move bodies.