"Happy Happy Joy Joy" from Ren & Stimpy
Hello, boys and girls. This is your old pal, Stinky Weaselteats. [*] This is a song about a whale. No! This is a song about being happy! That's right! It's the Happy Happy Joy Joy song! [chorus] Happy Happy Joy Joy Happy Happy Joy Joy Happy Happy Joy Joy Happy Happy Joy Joy Happy Happy Joy Joy Happy Happy Joy Joy Happy Happy Joy Joy Joy! I don't think you're happy enough! That's right! I'll teach you to be happy! I'll teach your grandmother to suck eggs! Now, boys and girls, let's try it again! [chorus] If'n you aint the grandaddy of all liars! The little critters of nature... They don't know that they're ugly! That's very funny, a fly marrying a bumblebee! I told you I'd shoot! But you didn't believe me! Why didn't you believe me?! [chorus without last line] Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Joy Joy Joy! * Stinky's last name is up for debate. It is pronounced closer to "whizzleteats". The authority for "Weaselteats" is an article that appeared in "Metro" magazine, a weekly for-free newspaper that appears at various places in Santa Clara County. The HHJJ song was described by the author of the article as, "Sing 'Happy Happy Joy Joy'. Repeat until death sets you free."
"The Log Song", from Ren & Stimpy
"What rolls down stairs alone or in pairs Rolls over your neighbor's dog? What's great for a snack and fits on your back? It's Log, Log, Log! It's Log, Log, it's big, it's heavy, it's wood. It's Log, Log, it's better than bad, it's good! Everyone wants a log! You're gonna love it, Log! Come on and get your log! Everyone needs a Log!"
The Hangin' Song from Ren & Stimpy's "Out West"
C'mon everbody! Let's have a hoedown! Oh, Lord loves a hangin'. That's why He gave us necks. It tightens up our vocal cords And loosens up our pecs. So if you are a horse theif And guilty to the bone, Go ahead and blame a friend And you won't hang alone. It may be hard to swaller, But you'll be three feet taller. It's a dandy way to entertain your friends. You say you are a villain, But can't abide by killin'; Go ahead a steal yourself a horse. Oh, Lord loves a hangin'. And so do we, by heck; So get yerself a lasso And decorate your neck. Oh, we is awful ignorant And uglier 'n sin; So go ahead 'n cut us down And hang us all again, Hangin' that is. Swing a spell...
The Gritty Kitty Contest winning poem.
From Ren & Stimpy's "Stimpy's Big Day" I believe
Gritty Kitty ain't so pretty, But it's really thick. It fills my cat box oh so snug; It always does the trick. I like to rub it on my toe And squish and squish and squish! It rare offends my tender nose, Like a smelly fish! Its texture is a joy to me, It's just as smooth as silk. It makes my little whiskers twitch; It stays crunchy, even in milk! I may not be the President, I may not be the Pope, But as long as I have Gritty Kitty, I shall never mope!
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