Wario Stadium



Wario Stadium is one of the longest, bumpiest, turniest, strategiest, and other silly words ending in iest, tracks. Unlike Rainbow Road, which can loosely be described as "the worst track ever created" (because it's so long and featureless), Wario Stadium keeps you interested. It keeps you focussed. And with all the mistakes you'll inevitably make around here, it keeps you retrying. It's no wonder they put a wall you could jump over right next to the start/finish straight. The course designers were giving you an easy out. But we won't take it. We're not like that. We enjoy the pain. It's why Time Trials is a trial.


Wario stadium has by far the biggest spectator figures of all 16 tracks


When I was sitting down to write these tracks originally, I knew this one would probably take the longest amount of time. Sure, Rainbow Road is much longer, but that strat will probably read "Get the Tran. MT everywhere. Avoid the chomps. Shroom the hill. Avoid falling asleep. Done." Wario Stadium is a little more complicated than that.

It starts as it means to go on. Complicatedly. Ahead of you on the start finish straight are some nice bumpy hills. It would be tempting to take a nice straight line over the hills and not worry about them too much, but this is such a slow strat that if there was a Wario course ghost, he'd probably have lapped you by the time you got to the end of the first straight. Although, because he's Wario, he'd probably take the double-shortcut. He's sneaky like that, and he'sa gonna win. Anyway, we're not sneaky, so we're going to go the slow interesting way around, but we're going to do it as quickly as possible. First up is a choice:

Do you:
a) Use a shroom on this straight to chain with your start shroom.
b) Or..uh...not option a.

Option a) isn't too bad a strat, especially if you're going for a fastest lap, so I'll describe how to do that first. Hop into a startshroomslide that's pretty much aiming straight, then after the 2nd hill, fire your first shroom and tilt to the left a bit. If you've angled all that correctly, you should release your MT driving pretty close to the opening turn. If you haven't timed that correctly, you need to take some deep breaths, dust yourself off (hitting into the wall will cover you with lots of invisible stadium dust), and retry. Since the track is so long, it's worth getting this opening bit as good as possible.

Option b) is slightly more difficult, and requires you to do an SSMT from your opening shroom. This would be extremely easy on any of the millions of tracks you've done this on before, (There are 3 so far you've done this on), but here you have some bumpy hills in your way, which makes the timing of your MT-creating, extremely limited and difficult. My advice is to get the white before the first hill; the easy part. Aim to the right of the track, to give yourself more room to finish the MT and not smash into the wall on the left. Then after you land from the first hill, perform a quick yellow/orange motion. If you do it right you should be able to release it and not veer wildly into the wall. If you need more time, work it to yellow after the first hill, and to orange after the second, but this is slower. Don't be afraid after you release your MT to hop to the right to avoid the wall. Any action you take here to stay on the racing line is ok with me and the track marshalls.

Transylvania

Whether you've done option a) or b) above, now is the time to do 2 MTs and an SSMT. It's like that movie "Three Men and a Baby", except without all the funny dialogue, or the men, or the baby. You'll probably find you're a little more rushed after the shroom option, but try to fit them in anyway. You'll probably be just about finished when you're on the hill. This is a special hill that you can tran. A tran is when you stick to a downward slope of a hill and increase your speed to at least 88 miles per hour. Then you'll see some serious shit. The key to tranning this hill is to take a small hop just before you get to the top of it. If you don't hop, you'll just sail off the top and land some distance ahead. If you hop and catch the back of the hill just right, you'll zoom down the hill and end up significantly ahead a ghost that doesn't do that. It's at least a tenth faster, but about a hundred times cooler. Also, you'll do it so rarely that you may inevitably miss the following MT. Just stay cool. The final thing I'll say about the hop attempt is that if you hop too early, and don't clear the hill or get the tran, you'll get a slow bounce off the hill and lose some time. It's not a run-killer, but it's very annoying. Err on the side of hopping too late.


1.21 Gigawatts!



After you land, or tran, or crash, get a quick MT. This next corner will need 3 spaced, but quickly performed MTs around it. The first, or the last one might seem more like an SSMT than an MT, but remember: They're the same thing. I should have just called them Turbos and nothing else from the very first strat. I guess it's too late to go back and change everything now. So get three nice turbos close alongside this wall. Some people used to do two around this wall, but they're not welcome around these parts no more.

The next MT around the next corner is quite easy. You should release it into the straight, pointing towards the corner on the right wall. I call it a straight, but it's a bit of a weird place with a wall jutting out by the right. It's more like a "space". You should SSMT in the middle of this space, around the jut in the road. Then you should MT for the next corner to the left, before the fun begins. When I talk about fun, I mean in pure kart terms, and not actual fun. There are no juggling clowns, or dancing monkeys.

The next corner looks like one that you might normally MT around, but avoid your instinct to do that. First, jump into a slide as if you're going to MT around it, but hold it close to the wall in the leadup to the corner. It should just a plain white straight slide. Check your privilege. Then when you get to the corner, hop left into another slide. Hold this slide arcing slightly outwards across this first hill, then yellow it and arc inwards as you go over the second hill, and orange it upon landing at the other side, releasing it into the nice straight for the next corner. This sounds a lot more complicated that it is. Or at least, it sounds a lot more complicated than a lot of time, effort and practice, will make it. The first time you try this, you will probably mess it up so badly you'll end up back on Mario Raceway. The story of that corner is that you're just trying to get an MT around it, but there are two hills in the way of that, a little like the problems we had at the start of the race.

The fresh open air greets us now as we set forth on our journey towards the next corner. In reality, the air is a little muddy, the track looks like it was made for dirt-bike racing, or monster trucks, but enjoy this little piece of track. It's your reward for doing whatever it was you did on the last corner. Hopefully you did good! It's easy to go wide when you're MTing this next corner, so be mindful of that. This next bit is also an alternative to shrooming at the start of the lap for a fastest lap attempt. MT into it normally, and then hop into a shroomslide MT around the remainder of the corner. You should release it just as the corner ends, and pointing towards the spot the regular shroom is performed at. If you don't shroom here, then just get a couple of quick MTs around it. You might be a bit rushed, but try to release the final MT close, but not too close, to the wall. Next comes the most important 20 seconds of the entire track. It's here that most of your time will be won and lost.

The Twin Peaks of Despair

Before you lie the twin peaks of Wario Stadium, standing like two colossal giants. Giants made of dirt and grit and something very brown. This will be your normal shroomspot on all 3 laps, but occasionally, when you're combining a fastest lap attempt with a 3lap attempt, you'll need to take it without a shroom. My advice for that is to fit in an extra MT before the base of the hill and ride it up straight, then jump just as you reach the top of the hill. Jumping here will give you a better bounce, and a better landing on the other side of the hill more often than doing nothing. The key to these peaks of perilousness lies in the way you land on the back of the second hill.


Twin Peaks. Not pictured here: 50% of the Peaks.



If you're using a shroom here, drive very close to the right-side wall, and jump into a slide that's almost parallel to the wall, firing your shroom as you hit the base of the hill. If you're lucky - and you'll rarely be lucky - you will land without bouncing on the opposite side of the second hill. This will allow you to hold your slide and MT early and tightly around the corner at the base. This will then allow you to perform a quick SSMT on the next straight. More often than not though, you will get a bounce on landing, and this will make it difficult to get a really tight line around the corner. If you find yourself going a little wide, it's occasionally worth it to jump out of the slide into a fresh MT tight around the corner. This loses you some time, but gains you distance.

The Three Bumps of Destiny

What ever way you navigate the corner, it's vitally important to start the SSMT on this straight by sliding up against the first bump on your left. If you pass this without starting an SSMT you're going to have a very hard time getting one that will benefit you and not send you wall-wards. The 2nd bump along this stretch of road is going to be a big problem for you. In cases like this, it's best to just stay straight and not even attempt one. Most importantly, you should leave several kart-lengths between you on the right-hand wall, because you'll need that space to arc around the wall at the end of the straight. Ride over the right side of these bumps and you're in the right place.


Give yourself a healthy space between you and the wall on the right



Use the bump at the end of the straight as an indication to start your MT. Slide up against this bump, get your MT to orange, release, and then hop around until you're about 75% around the corner. It's important to squeeze another right-facing MT here, but it needs to be started early. This should be completely finished and released before you hit a small bump in the road. This needs to be done so quickly, that's it's often missed by even the best players, so you might want to leave it out. Next up is a hill. In the olden days, we used to just drive straight up this. Now that we're all modern and hip of course, we slide. It seems that wherever there is a small bit of respite on a track, we invent a new way to make it more complicated. Sliding here is such a way. The advantage of course is that you will be able to land and get an MT a lot quicker than if you had simply waited to land to start one. You can then hop around that corner to the left and get another quick MT once you have room enough to do one without careening off to the right-hand wall. The disadvantage is that you can be so rushed that your initial slide will send you off at the completely wrong angle and completely mess up your run. So if you're not up for sliding, just keep it straight and sensible. Once you've landed, you can then just focus on getting the 1 MT around the corner.

Wibbly Wobbly Roady Woady

There are a series of little hills in the road directly ahead. Just drive straight over them without any turning. Turning may make you feel like you've lost the ability to control the kart. In the future, because karters are annoying, we will probably tell you to work up a nice slidey MT here. But for now, just drive normally. Instantly when you hit the final hill, jump into a left-facing or right-facing, or any-facing-you-like MT and release it down the hill. The downward slope will allow you to glide for longer without losing speed. When you start up the slope again, get a right-facing SSMT. You could do a left-facing one if you like, but since the following corner will be to the right, it's better to prepare yourself to go that way, and the angle will be slightly kinder to you.


You probably shouldn't turn here



The Arcing Corner

Next up is a fairly easy corner, with a bite in the tail. Like many animals with mouths in their tails, and stings in their heads, this corner can get a bit nasty if you don't treat it with a bit of respect. The first part is simple. You've MT'd around the previous corner, so just glide. This is the straight part of the corner. After that, it starts to turn, so do two normally spaced MTs and then one final MT. The final MT will have to be held around to the right a little bit more. This is where the corner can catch you out. You want to cut as much of the corner as possible before the straight, but the shape of the corner at the very end is extremely awkward, which leads to a lot of accidental slamming into it.


The stadium is extremely well lit. Floodlights surround the track.



The Jump

The road leading up to the jump is inoffensive. All the jokes it makes about you are very tasteful. Just perform a right-facing SSMT when you're a little bit up it and keep to the right side of the track. Do a little pre-jump if you like off the top. The alternative is (as I said earlier karters are annoying) to slide off the jump with a left-facing slide and finish the MT upon landing. This will gain you a little if done correctly, and lose you a little when it isn't.

Right, Left, End

Whichever method you decide to do, it's important for the third time this lap so far, to slide into an MT against the right-side of the bump in the road, and get it nice and tight around the corner. With very little glide time, you should jump into another right-facing slide until you can see the final turn coming up on the left. Leave yourself on the right-side of the road to give you a nice angle to perform a left-facing MT around the corner. You should release the MT just as you're passing the corner, and then hop hop hop to get close to the wall and start another MT around this one. One more MT, and one more SSMT before the line should see you through. This final corner is also the last spot on your potential shrooms for a fastest lap. Just fire it as soon as you're done with the hopping above, and then release it into the straight. Whether or not it's faster to perform a final MT or not or just to let your kart drive straight for the line is unknown. If you're not going for a lap time, or it's not lap 3, you should do an SSMT just before the finish line to lead you into a long opening straight of pretty much doing nothing but driving straight. Some people do little pre-jumps over these hills, although the fastest strategy is probably to slide up an MT halfway through. I haven't seen it done on any important runs, but who knows what will be added in future.

That's it for the Non-Shortcut strategy. The shortcut one is "Hop over the wall. Hop back over the wall. The end". But if you did that, you'd miss all the joyful spots which will inevitably ruin many of the days you spend here, and who wants to miss out on that sort of pain?


Errrr.