ISSUE 31
==Thayl conjugates sentences, with skill, dexterity and finesse==

Hi there, um, I just wanted a section to shite on about the little stuff that came up in the past month or so. First thing, special congrats goes out to Maura from Venus Envy who sucessfully played some excellent drum and bass tunes at the Decal Vs. The Wormholes gig ages ago. I forgot to mention that in the last issue, so there ya go. Rumour has it that she's being hired out to do parties now, Power FM here we come (Eds note: Power is off the air because they are reportedly setting up a new more powerful transmitter so now all of Dublin will hear the infectious house and d'n'b in glorious stereo, and hopefully blocking out its near neighbour 98FM).

And second huge big thing is that your favourite zine in the world, Sl@nted @nd Ench@nted itself was mentioned in none other than In Dublin magazine!!! Yeah, you know, that one with the birds-in-bikinis on the cover. (It actually is a quality publication that doesn't need pretty girlies on the front page to sell more issues, really, we would not tell a lie) Anyway seems that they liked our "DIY attitude" or something. But of course the fuckers would get our name wrong, they called us Sl@anted @ Ench@nted, leaving out a whole two letters.....well we'll let them off this time but next time it happens we buy out their stock and sell them to RTE where they will endure a stripping of everything fun and lively and be reduced to articles explaining how interesting Winning Streak really is.

Thirdly I'd like to issue a special message to all you clever shits that think it's really funny to shout out inspired quotes like "Hey orange head" and "Your hair is orange". Obviously I know what fucking colour my own damn hair is, and believe me when I say that this constant reminder does not help my day in the slightest. Got that? Good. From now on I wanted deep multi-level slurs on my alternative chosen hair colour, and not just random jibes about the fact that it glows slightly. Any smart one liners not containing a word with more than two syllables will be disqualified. The judges decision is final.