Characters involved are: Midori (RED), Yui (ORANGE),
Logged by Midori

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When the waking world is nothing of joy, what -is- it that you dream of? For Yui, it is long distant days that her mind grasps at when her mind drifts away. Stress upon stress is her every waking moment--Dealing with Shevat while trying to -forget-, if nothing else, that her entire family is entirely missing. Forget unpleasantry. Dreams ought to have nothing of the sort. No, tonight, as Yui has dreamt for so many nights, is a time to remember Shevat. Today's scene is Aphel Aura, a city of pearl white and perpetual beauty, trapped above the clouds. It is a time back before Yui ever lived upon the surface. Before the thought of losing her family was not a threat at all, and something beyond imagination. Dream of more pleasant days, Yui, dressed in Shevvite hues and clothing. Dream because those where the days when you could smile, and entirely mean it. And when loss did not plague those calm eyes. This is the scene and the day Yui dreams of. And yet, perhaps she should still wonder why dreams are so vibrant, so very -real- recently. But perhaps, in a way, it matters not. She's unlikely to remember it by the time she awakes, after all.
Dreams...some would say are a manifestation of what your subconscious believes to be the right thing to happen. Nightmares are in retribution for unkind deeds the subconscious wishes to punish itself for, a good dream simply for the simple-minded, or the narcissist. Why, then, does Midori dream of this? It is like a hazy ancient memory, hazy like the great shimmering goldness she stares out at, mesmerised by its revolving and glistening? Why does she dream of this, when in reality, it is as far from this bliss as it can be? Perhaps she feels she deserves a good memory now and then. Perhaps it is something else. Perhaps...it is fate.
We all deserve good memories sometimes. Without, how would we stay sane? For despite how terrible, how heartless the waking world can be.. Now and then, we still conjure up a dream that can do nothing more than comfort. Or perhaps not. These are bizzare dreams, after all, that make such ancient memories -live-, as if they were more than just some subconcious regurgitation of the concious world. Why dream of Shevat, of this hazy world? Because it was kinder, for one. And because here, Yui can sit upon a bench and watch the sky, and forget that, while awake, there were a million things to worry of. Forget them. Please. Its kinder that way.
It was happier before. Perhaps it is only a simple childish selfish thought, but Midori cannot help but feel som modicum of resentment for her having to leave here. As she sits silently as ever at the edge of the corridor, staring out into the sky, she cannot decide if she should stay here and anjoy the being here for what it was, or run and find her old frinds, as any normal child might. Any normal child. Any normal child would not spend days drifting, and lying by the shore where she washed up, the forgotten detruitus from a great tragedy. Still, here is here, and now is now. She crouch-sits under the handrail, looking out as the clouds pass by, always smiling. She always smiled here.
If it is a simple, childish thought to think that the days in Shevat were happier, then Yui is certainly guilty of her share of it, too. In several ways, she never wished to leave her home either... Of course, it was necessary. Of course, she gladly left, if just to stay with her family, following along, for a rare first, with the priorities of her husband, rather than Shevat's. Odd, truly... And yet that does not mean she did not have regrets. And Yui blinks, turning her eyes away from the skies for that moment, a pestering thought catching her focus for that moment as she realizes she is not alone. And yet, as her gaze finds the young form, crouching beneath the handrail, she freezes. And waking thought intrudes her dreaming mind enough to honestly choke her silent. Could that possibly.. Possibly be...? Rather shakily, Yui rises to her feet, and approaches, slow of step. Certainly, it couldn't be...
There is no sound, and nothing. There is only...that same feeling again. She had felt it on the beach, and in her dream before, from Sigurd. That blank benevolence, and non-threatening..aura. But it couldn't be. Third time lucky? Such a cliche. It is now almost as if her experiance defaults to disappointment, making it prudent to assume the worst. Still, she sputs it to the back of her mind. Perhaps she would go find her friends, before the annoyance of awakedness sullied the peace of the dream. Perhaps.
Could you not at least.. Look up, Midori? For Yui has known her daughter long enough to know that she could tell she was there a mile away. And yet.. Some fuzzy reasoning attempts to remind her that this is a dream, something unreal, something that means absolutely nothing in the span of reality. Your daughter is dead, washed away by the waters around Babel Tower, because your husband insisted it was more important to adhere to duty than to loyalty to one's family. You dream because you are desperate, because guilt of the fate of your daughter haunts your every moment.. This is not real. None of it is. So stop mourning that she does not react as you feel she ought. And yet, for all this mental nagging, Yui can not -help- herself as she walks closer to the child. For reason seems a very poor excuse to do nothing when she is faced, real or not, with that so very familiar form. And yet her voice is very quiet, very careful as she gives the softest question of, "...Midori?"
Midori almost gasps, as her head jerks around, to face...the very person she was not expecting. Well, it was perhaps inevitable that she eventually dream of this. Such a loss is...eventually to be compensated, even in memory. What did this dream expect her to do? To bound up and bury herself in her mother's arms? It is a cheapening, a shallow respite that fades. All things fade. But, can she help but stand, facing her mother for the first time in...a long tim for a five-year old...
You page, "Ma...ma...?" to Yui.
And to see Midori once more, after all that happened quite entirely chokes Yui to silence, unable to do anything but manage a rather sad smile. Loss bounds into her recollection at sight of this simple girl, the reminders of that night when, among the storm-tossed waves, she thought she lost... Stop it. She's gone, she's lost. All you dream of is what you wish to see. Inevitably, somewhere along the line, this dream will snap to nightmare, and all it will be will be guilt upon guilt, more pain at your failure to protect your only daughter. But reasonable thoughts are very hard to listen to in a moment like this. At Midori's startled stare, Yui's smile draws a bit sadder, a bit more guilty. And she kneels, very carefully, before Midori, if just to be face to face with the started child. "Of course.. Its me, Midori." And it is remarkably hard to say those words in any hint of calm, "Its been so long.." And worse.. That's all my fault.
Guilt? What could possibly make her guilty? Midori gets the inkling that she could not even contrive this in dream. The..dulling on the senses. It's like with Sigurd. But...guilty? > Ma..ma...Don't be sad... < it is all she can afford in return for the sheer overwhelming feeling she recieves. This is not of her making or imagination. This is not an opportunity, or an unfeeling figment she could brush off until it came up again. She sniffles, and a tear appears in each of her large green eyes, as she holds her arms out. > Don't..be sad... <.
What could possibly make her guilty? Nothing short of failing, failing, failing... Of watching her daughter be caught and dragged off by the waves, and not being able to do a -thing- about it... Of not being able to go after because duty was more important, duty to Shevat, to her people, to a dozen other things that did not seem to -matter- in comparison. Real or not, it did not matter. For tears were catching in Midori's eyes as she spoke--well, as much as she spoke anything--such small comforts. Of course she could not keep that guilt from Midori. She never could.. And yet that unfailingly maternal reflex kicks in as Midori cries, and Yui moves to hug her, noting simply, "Oh, please don't cry.. Its all right." Is it? "Its just.." She swallows hard at that. Of course she's guilty. Of course she's sad. And yet, the best she can posibly give is, "I thought.. I woudln't see you again." And somewhere, her mind still cries she hasn't, and shall never. And yet this dream seems nothing like a dream ought to.
It all comes down to duty, does it? Duty to a country, to a cause, to your loved ones. Things can tip the gentle balance in either way, making one thing more important than another. Duty made them leave Shevat. Duty made everyone go away, and now duty is once again tearing at her for attention. Perhaps duty outdoing her for importance mean...that she was not important in the grand scheme of things? Perhaps. And in her own way, she accepts that, as she holds onto her mother for dear life. Her parents were duty-bound, and soon it would take her away again, if she let go, for even a second. > I...was scared... < Yes, she was scared. And still is, even for the kindness of that strange woman, the one she could not read. Still, she is scared in so many ways.
It -all- comes down to duty. It can not be helped. For it was undeniably the most foolish thing that Yui has ever done to fall in love with a Solarian. Is it surprising that, in the end, loyalties would call once more and both she and Citan would go their ways? She should have been prepared for this, should have known better in the first place. And yet, in duty to Shevat, in duty to Solaris... No one expected Midori to be lost in the web of things. No one expected this to happen, ever. And it can not be helped that Yui's mind leaps at this dream, that it desperately dares to cling to a little desperate hope. This does not -seem- like a dream. Please, can it be true? If nothing else in the world, let Midori be all right somewhere... "I'm sorry.." Yui says lightly. Scared? That is the least of what Yui would expect, for a child put through such ordeals as Midori was. If she only knew what, where. For if only she had, if only she could have... "I... Well, have you been well?" That blasted maternal instinct again. Even if this is all fake, she can not -help- but ask, but hope, but worry.
Midori draws back, and nods gently. > ...The nice lady helped me... <. She never did catch her name. Still, one nice lady is much like another, in effect. And such a simple explanation suffices, for what could be done about it if a more detailed xplanation were even possible? > ...there were other children there... <. They all seemed happy. And perhaps there would be comfort found in the fact that she was with other children. She cannot hope to comprehend what Yui is thinking. all she feels is regret, and guilt. And...the feeling that she is being taken from here again. No. It was the same with Sigurd, and now...not now...do as Sigurd said, close your eyes. Misori does so, and the faintest of wisps of nothingness appear about the edges of her form, as she drifts out of this reality. Not so much frightening as disconcerting, this time. It was not a dream in this respect. She opens her eyes again. No, she is not afraid. Not any more. > ...Good...bye.. <.
Yui merely nods, listening to every single word Midori gives. A nice lady, a place with other children? Oh, please, just give some vaugue hint of where you are. Because -maybe- Yui shall remember it when she wakes, and maybe, just maybe, against all hopes, against all reality, against anything anyone could expect to work, you might just be there, and well. And it is then that it happens. Yui blinks as Midori backs away and.. What is happening to her? No, no, -no-. Not after Yui got to see her for the first time in so many months.. And yet, it is a terrible reminder of this place, of this world. It is a dream. Nothing more. For people do not just threaten to vanish in reality. Do not -remind- the most reasonable part of her mind that this is all just a hopeless wish, some illusion made by her unconcious mind out of grief. Above all things, don't -go-. And yet, eyes wide in quiet horror, she is amazed that somehow, barest of all sounds, she manages a distant, "Goodbye.." Although she does not wish it. Although it hurts, above all things, to say.
Midori (OOC) sniffles.
Yui (OOC) sorries if this log was heavy on angst. ^^;
Yui (OOC) exclaims, "Well, too much. I'm a sap!"
Midori (OOC) can handle angst. Angst is good.
Yui (OOC) grins! "Thanks for the RP, then. That was darling. ^^"
Midori (OOC) nods, and smiles. And hopes she is found eventually ^^.
Yui (OOC) watches her search be distracted heavily by your lunatic father running around as Khiea. "He has issues, you know. Serious issues."
Midori (OOC) knows better then anyone.
Yui (OOC) says, "How.. Very true. (X_x)"
Yui (OOC) says, "Just stay clear of Khiea. ^^ Icly, she's being RPed by Citan for the time being. That'd be a very.. odd moment if you glanced into her mind, thus."
Midori (OOC) nods, and sees herself being only in the dream, apart from the occasional awake spell with Erine. Eventually she will deperately cry out to be rescued. ^^.
Yui (OOC) nods, "All right. That's fine. Erine probably needs the RP anyway. ^^"
Midori (OOC) waves nightie-night, then.
Yui (OOC) waves! "Goodnight!"