Characters involved are: Midori (RED), Hyuga (ORANGE),
Logged by Midori

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Citan's Nightmare: The Price of Free Will
A tearoom is here, austere and yet well-lit. The paper screens reveal the shadows of cherry trees just beyond in the gardens outside, tossed in the breeze of a spring day. Petals tumble from their embrace of their branches, and there is the scent of delicate blossoms through the air. Within the room, a low table has been set and cushions wait on either side to be kneeled upon. There is great beauty and the relaxation of an afternoon once one steps outside of these walls. But that is the boundary. To leave is to shirk all responsibilities, all acknowledgements--all chains that have been knowingly taken up. For this is a prison no greater than one's Will. And as a reminder--as if this room itself were not filled with the struggle of temptation versas discipline--the scroll of kanji hanging in the shallow alcove reads in dialect upon dialect: "This Is My Choice."
Contents:
Hyuga

So it is back to his own body--one victory, one loss, and another parting. So perhaps Hyuga decided at the last minute that allowing Yui to continue her free rein was not for the best, or perhaps he had planned this all along. If you asked the man, you may wait for hours to hear the answer as he searches for it himself, lost in his own machinations. But what of it? Yui may have been stranded below as he--he had stranded Midori, he has a habit of abandoning them, just as he had taken the Weltall, just as he had left his daughter in the sea. All these emotions and fierce associations of damning memory flood him, but Hyuga only smiles to himself in faint bitterness and lets them roar. All this will allow him to find her tonight. A gentle beckoning into Nightmare--it gets easier with time, does it not? Until one wakes in sleep to wonder what exactly they found so frightening at it at all, and only comment later how curious it is that others still fear for their own lives or find anything strange at all abo
...about bloodied hands and streets. Come on, Midori. Come back. And Hyuga waits by the railing, his shadow long on the tearoom behind him, and draws in the scent of the sea. Come on, Midori. Come for tea.
Swirling, growing childlike ember on the matted surface of the tearoom, growing from the floor in wavering shimmer, now here, and in places the floor behind, there a soft wisp compacts into form, until there is no more mist, and Midori is here. No more the tearful aquatic birth, rending from her own path in this maze, but a path of her own choosing. The tearoom floor her success, then the low table, as she raises her head to that man recognisable only by face, the demeanour, the attire, the appearance so changed. Yet, this is the goal. This is the reason, this is still father. Midori smiles.
Good. See? This is the path--laid down by pain the first time and let to scar in place, it remains as a trail to find one's way back upon. Give it enough time and this will be the side of Dream found first--this room, more comfort than tea and meadows. For Hyuga, at least, who is here all the time anyway. "Midori," he says softly before turning, and then he does, long hair catching petals as it swirls. Hyuga brushes his bangs back and offers a smile to his daughter--hesitant, faint, fearing the rejection even as it expects it, and then he clears his throat. "Tea? I didn't take you from anything, I fear?"
Dreamers do not have schedules, as fluid as this stream of slumbering consciusness is, it does not discriminate with regard to route. And diversion is simply another way to flow. Midori shakes her head. "No, father. I...meant to come visit you. It has been some time..."...since...what? Since the outburst? The confontation? When the man who is her father, and somehow not, would proclaim his own death? People do strange things, for duty, for honour, sometimes for no reason at all. That is the reason Midori cannot but simply be confused and frightened of this father she knows not. That is why she needed to know if he still wants her. If it is her fault. That is why she is here. "Yes, please...". The situation looks promising. There is tea.
This was intended? That would explain why it had been so easy for the second? third time that Midori has visited this realm, or at least with the scope of his conscious recall. While these world is him, it is -bigger-, and while he is bigger it is.... a fit of knots, much how a person's foot can itch and they scratch it without actual marking of the moment. This was intended? This is touching, and it does touch the man who breathes distilled air and rests in beds which are stacked in the sky. "It has been, hasn't it... I apologize for the time lapse. I... wanted to make sure..." That you did not decide it would be easier to hate me. That you would not hate me immedietely. So many things unsaid, but Hyuga only kneels on the cushions across from Midori and reaches for the teapot. "Thank you for coming, Midori," he says, unexpectedly soft, watching the flow of the amber liquid as it pours into the cup. "I am sorry it has been such a strange time for you. Here, have some."
A strange time. The promise of a life again with her parents, made to herself when she first met the dream, gone. Her father as she knew him, gone. The life she knew before, all gone, replaced by lapsing between the dream, and the orphanage, daily vigil on the windmill for mother to descend from the sky to collect her. Leave to do as she pleases here, and there, too, the etones assuming metaphor when she told them why she waited. It is a strange time. It is yet comforting to find a constant here. Here, is father, is the dream, is father. Midori takes the cu between her hands. "Thank you", as she studies this new appearance. Of the guises she had seen, this appeared the most...natural. The most like father might be without Citan.
But mother is here--do not worry, or she should be. Perhaps she has run into problems wondering exactly why her Omnigear flew into the sky after she had stepped out of it, the glimpse of that strange girl she had spent time with on the Dark Yggdrasil staring back at her with an expression she never saw once during those weeks. Yes. This is Hyuga, in his purest form--all he would need to do would be to cut his hair, gain the light of whim and vision back in his eyes, and he would be young again as he had been in Jugend. But this is Hyuga older, worn down by the world and finding it a place without forgiveness, and this is him knowing he must pay the price for his happinesses. "Has your mother found you yet?" he murmers, sipping from his own cup before clearing his throat and continuing. "I... thought it best if she come to find you, and stay with you where it is safe." By stranding her. Well. It would be safest. Believe in that. Believe in it firmly and it may be true. "No one has been giving you any pr
... "No one has been giving you any problems, I hope? I... could always visit, where you are. If Yui does not see me..."
Midori can only look back quietly, as she sips her tea. "No. I have been waiting...". For such a long time for a little girl to wait for her mother. For what seemed like a minor eternity. "I wait for her every day, but she does not come...". Pause, sip, for contemplation, a decision. "Mother is not here, where I am. If...you...". Think! To see father again, not just in this ether, but in tangible form, that makes it unsettling. "You...look like this in reality now?", a simple question, based on a hunch, but lessening of the blow if he were to just turn up. "I...I think I would like that.".
"She should, any day now," Hyuga assures. And how is he so certain? Because... "I made certain that she be left there, but she may be checking at the Ethos Headquarters first." And how do Hyuga's eyes slide away from his daughter, from the logic that screams, you -put- her there, you betrayed her in a way she now must know was you following her all along until you could use her to smuggle a Solarian Dream Princess out and then -discarded- her. No, no, "I wanted to make certain you would both be all right," he mutters, setting down his cup and pushing it aside with his fingers in an unconscious rejection of himself. "I do look like this, I am afraid." Hyuga brushes his hand down his lapel and then flashes a sudden, sly grin. "Is it such a bad appearance, Midori? I could come and visit. I could always come and visit, if you are alone..."
Midori smiles, and shakes her head. "Different..." she blurts, and is not being tactful, as an older person might. It is just...different. It would not matter, Hyuga's appearance. It would, and does not. And ina similar fashion, his word is accepted as absolute truth. Mother here in a few days? If father days it, it must be so! Midori smiles, and sips again. "I am, father, if you wish. I can introduce you to Erine". Yes, a pretence. That should do it. Midori's smile remains, unwavering. This is an unexpected surprise, and her standard blank stare is banished for the while.
A pretense? For what--to come down and visit? "But Yui may still be there... I should radio ahead and check first," he assures, not to dismiss the visit but to promise that it will come. Erine he has not met, although he has heard much of indeed. "I understand that it is a different appearance than you are used to... would you prefer I change back to green?" he offers. But how much worse would that be, to have a man in your father's old clothes and skin and stare out from the old glasses with such terrible, yet understanding eyes? "I have not been to Aquavy in some time," he admits softly, reaching for his cup again. Some part of him unwinds as it settles into the conversation and the idea that it will remain without Midori springing into accusation. Here, it is safe now. "I always loved the oceans..."
Midori retains the mask, smiling as she shakes her head. "Everything is different now. I understand. If that is what you look like, then do not change for me.". The man in green is dead. What sits before her now is her father, nonetheless, and it is a change she will accept. Duty brings change, and change is either to be accepted or fought. Midori has learned acceptance, and so it is. "Yes, the ocean is all around. It's..." No, Midori cannot describe it in any good way just yet. Give her time. For now, let her gently encourage father to come see her, in her own way.
There it is then--that was then, this is now. Painful, trite. True. Or effectively so. Citan, the man who never should have lived, whose qualities should have been suppressed long ago and never released save for when it was necessary. But one thing led to another, and so the manipulator is himself trapped. "I am sorry," Hyuga murmers, honestly, softly. No, it may or may not be fair, or right--but both those ideas are so very unreal to begin with. "It really is astonishing, isn't it? You should see it from the sky, Midori..." No, no--not -those- memories, Hyuga, not the visions you always see when you think of the oceans from Gears. Can such an element so central to him always be such a curse? But perhaps--just perhaps, follow the example of Midori--it can be put to rest. "Should I bring you anything from Solaris? Anything you might want?"
Midori ponders for a second. She has never wanted for much, until the accident. It had never occurred to her that anything could be missing. She had her parents, and...well...is that all she really needs? Perhaps. Perhaps she will meet her father and mother again. Perhaps father _will_ come down from Solaris, and mother from...wherever. Perhaps, in the deepest wishes of the little girl kneeling at the table, this will happen at the same time. And if it does not, well, no matter. Perhaps it is just meant to be that way. If things were perfect, they would not be, still. Midori shakes her head. "No...Just bring yourself." It is more then she thought she could have hoped for before, and is enough.
And yet... and yet, the two shall not, -cannot- meet. For that would be two worlds colliding again, as surely as they had during their first meeting, although now there cannot be a breach fixed--not with how deeply Yui can still reach the Guardian's heart, not with so much going on now. It is too risky, too -tempting- to turn back to that which is comfort. "I should bring you more than that," he teases softly. Perhaps a coat, in the Solarian fashion? But Yui would question that. And he would offer stuffed animals or toys, but those were for children, and Midori... has never been quite one of those. "A book? A manual? There was a book that was made for Khiea a while ago--she has it still somewhere, but the model of it could be duplicated. A book that would talk to you and teach you things if you asked it to..."
It could be anything, and Midori would treasure it. When seeing your father is an occasion, anything to remember and know him by is a treasure. The suggestion sparks an interest, and Midori thinks, the reference to Khiea lost in the offer. "Well, if it is not any trouble, and you wish to, then I would like that.". The offer of something specific of Hyuga's choosing galvanises her interest, since anything else would be just a thing. Something he chooses, though, is a gift.
One could almost hold these times and keep them more precious by doling them out carefully, but would such things be done deliberately? If they must, if they must be--oh, do not cling to nobility -now-, Hyuga, not you of all people. "I think I will have to disguise it as something so that your mother does not find it and take it away, but I will find something for you. A few things," he laughs, and feels almost like a father again. "I will customize it to you personally, Midori--I hope you would like it. And... maybe if there is time enough away, I could take you for dinner in Solaris and show you the stars from up there, and the lights..." Ah, so many things. But for chance. But for fact.
So many promises, and hopes. Midori can, at least for a while, cling to them and hope at least some of them come true. It is far too premature to hope for everything father has said. Even a fraction of that would satisfy, and she truly hopes for that. "Thank you. I look forward to it, father. All of it.". To see you again is enough, father, is unsaid, but understood. That is what she will cling to for a start. After that, we will see.
Good. Little beginnings. "Will you... be here more often, Midori?" Hyuga asks next, after Midori's acceptance warms him and then is put away carefully in a place he may take it out later and watch shine. "You know I am always here, and there are as many wonders on this side of sleep as on the other. Perhaps we are physically apart here, but we can go anywhere... did you ever wish to learn?" he asks, curious and wondering in the same way as any father with a trade. If one lives and breathes dreamstuff. Which he does.
Midori remains for a time in pondering, as if both of them were filing away this moment for reference, perusal, or making a memory of it. She snaps out of it suddenly at the word. "Learn...what do you mean?". Not having leanred from much but life experience, it is a new concept. And, as long as she is welcome here, she will come. If Hyuga is so different from Citan, then so be it. He is father, and that is how it is. "I will come here more often, if you wish.." If you wish, if you keep your promise, I will come here always.
Ah--but Citan always did have that expression of confusion, wondering why his daughter was very much not so young, attempting to reach for toys and not measure and match Midori's intellect. For a man who rose to politics and power, he is so blind when it comes to matters at home. But Hyuga--this is one who knows that knowledge must come early when it can and that nothing will hold it back if you truly desire it. "Some part of me will always be here," he assures, setting down his cup and wetting a finger before he draws upon the table. "Eventually, you too will learn how to call me here instead of simply waiting for my attention to focus on this area. Much like you would note your foot or your hand, correct? You will always be safe here if I can recognize you, of that I can assure you--even if you are with others who may trigger Nightmare's lashing, you will not be swallowed with them." A faint smile. Hyuga. "In time you will learn how, and why, and how to form your own protections--this is my mind for
...this is my mind for the interface, after all, and I know you are welcome in it... my daughter."
A word used so often by some is a word that can mean everything. To be someone's daughter again, to know family, even in the incorporeal sense, is what Midori seeks. It is not a traditional family value, seeing your father only in dream. But, the family Uzuki was never the traditional family. And probably never will be. To learn to navigate the dream as father might, is what there is to 'learn'. To learn to manipulate it is to be the nightmare apprentice, unaffected by the normal idea of fear. "I...think I understand. I will coe here more often, then, if you are here.". That is a promise.
"If you do not find me, you need only to look. Sometimes I will not be here, but this room will always shelter you." Hyuga continues to draw the circle, leaning over it intently as it becomes a rim of darkness with his attention upon it. "The symbol," he explains, "The intent. The will--the outcome. Here there is fear and nightmare, but this is what fuels this side of the dream--you must obey its laws and it will bow to you." The man glances up from the table, the shimmer reflecting in his eyes. Pride for his daughter? Or just contentment at having a family again, or whatever passed as it? Either way. "There is power on the other side," he cautions, "but it is the Dream and that is Khiea's domain. This? This is... I suppose it welcomes you because of your heritage, Midori. If you want to be here." And what an inheritance indeed.
"I understand. If you wish to teach me to obey the nightmare's laws, I will learn, father. I owe that to you for bringing us and mother together here, if only for a short time.". The certainty is as acute as the conviction, and in some way, Midori can sense that what Hyuga can obtain from this is the only thing resembling a family life he can muster. In her case, it is probably the only relationship she can have with him. "I want to be here, if you are here. Teach me to find you, and I will come.". She replaces her cup on the low table, and is serious again. "I know that is what you want.".
Yes. That is true though, and Hyuga admits it with a rueful smile, a lowering of his head in acknowledgement. For one who learns by reaching will show it when they have reason to, instead of waiting to have their hands held the entire way--and they make the best pupils as well. To be allowed or to be bound by the peculiar natures and traits--well, what else is family? Come now. "If you want," he warns again, knowing as she does that such is not truly a way out. "Here, concentrate on me," he offers next, uncloaking his thoughts from the tangle of dream--though with her, he does not even need do that, does he? "Focus upon the circle. Focus upon holding that circle inside your vision--feel what -makes- it, what fuels it, let it come from you for now although you will later be able to have it rooted here, in anything that is sleep. Then, pretend that that is an opening... as much me as it is you. A way you feel connected to me and my mind, through that circle..."
Hyuga has disconnected.