Three, apparently innocent gentleman from Laois ("turf country"), - Lolly, garion and faulty are this week fighting off unrefutable allegations of a "bizzare" Love triangle. The Laois boyz - somewhat unseperable since their arrival in D.C.U. are now claiming that, in a new twist, it is the traditional custom in the "Incest capital of the Midlands" (Laois) for fellows to stick together - literally!
On the 25th of November (last wednesday) the lads in question were found, in what one garda source could only describe as, "Comprismising positions" outside "The George" on Georges Street. With blood everywhere and groaning lovers lying exhausted on the pavement the Gardai decided against any further action or inqury - the sergant involved offically stating that:
"I didn't want to be involved in any way with people that athletic, flexible and quite frankly small!".
These redbrick gaymates have been found on 13 serperate incidents engaging in cybersex
Faulty claiming :
"Ahhhh up the scoup we doo it 34 times a day ya boya!!".
This reporter has also found unsubstantiated links with another redbrick user "chuckie" or Brian Ahern of CA1. Brian, couldn't sit down for 17 days last month claiming he sat on a bycyle with no saddle. On futher inspection, this renegade reporter for the corner has learned that at that time chuckie first came into contact with the Laois Drag queens - you do the math!!
Finally :
On behalf of not only redbrick or D.C.U.,but indeed humanity I issue a severe warning not to be "violated" warning :
Do not approach or engage these monsters in any way - any way at all!!.
'Twas a cold and bitter morn as the sun's first rays struck D.C.U. campus. Little did Andy "Im cool with my cap backwards" Yellowcacks know that today this friday in november would be the day the that would make or break his music career (it turned out it ended his career).A defiant culchie stepped up onto the stage and as this reporter looked on, Andy pretended people were listening as he tried in vain to count past two :
In brief my friends I ask for patience - for Andy - He knows not what he sounds like!
The man sings like a cripple, can't hold a note, can't carry a tune. and has at least two flutes lodged up his ass.
It was on Thursday afternoon that the new revelation sprung to the news concerning our friend huey, it turns out that huey despite his denials ( and of those there are many ) is in fact a cabra man and not an 'asht-ownian' as he would have us believe. He was so adament that he was from ashtown that he actually manipulated the map in the library !!. (and he said that he was going there to study, a likely story) This is known for a fact 'cause i fussball was there with him as he changed the Dublin boundries.But although he tried he was just unable to make the crayon stick to the map. Unfortunately for him it looks like his days of being the 'respected porn queen' are numbered (obviously flanders is the undoubted king of porn in D.C.U) But dont go too far rumour has it that he is to make a comeback under the alias of rent-boy (we're not too sure that it is just an alias though, just keep the backs to the wall guys) So to summarise friends is huey straight, the porn queen, or is he still singin' like a virgin. Well to find out that info, this reporter is goin undercover........more to come on this story...