ISSUE 30
Recently Stripe and Singer left Thayl to mind the S@E offices when they fucked off to Galway for a bit of Primal Scream/Spiritualized/Fatboy Slim watching, but when they came back what should they find but Thayl, curled up in a little ball on the ground, whimpering for his mammy!!

Stripe: Thayl, are you okay?

Thayl: Whimper......

Singer: I think he's trying to say something!!

Thayl: Ugh....The Funnel Bar......gurgle.....Anodyne.....slutter....

Stripe: Nah, sounds like he's swallowed his tongue or something, you'd better stick your hand in his mouth and pull it back out.

Singer: No, wait.....I think he's trying to review Anodyne's gig in The Funnel Bar!!

Stripe: Quick!!! Get him some paper and a pen!! And wipe the spit off the side of his mouth while you're at it.

Thayl: *Gasp* Thank you. Anyway, wow, what a gig!! Ohmygod, it'sallsofuckingmindblowing!!

Stripe: Argh, write slower, nobody can read that!!

Thayl: *Opps, sorry. I'm a bit mad right now. Ambulance were supporting him, I remember that much. They were pretty darn good, and I'd never heard of them before in my life!! They played a kind of ambient set, well, a bit heavier then ambient. Imagine sho e-gazing while on a bus going around a sharp corner. You'll try to stand still but you'll move about a bit, that's what Ambulance were like. A hint of Aphex Twin maybe? These guys were groovy alright.

Singer: Come on come on!! Get to Anodyne!!!!

Thayl: Okay okay. *Deep breath* What can I say? I just can't describe him well enough on paper. I'd have to hit your head with a baseball bat and then push you off a high building, then you might start seeing the things I was seeing through the smoke when Anodyne played.

Stripe: You'd better start making sense prettttttttty quickly or it's the coal cellar for you!!

Thayl: Okay sorry. Well, from the second he came Mr. A. launched into what I can only describe as "Death and Bass". It was scary, it thumped your brain like a big fat bouncer after you've slagged off his hairy knuckles. It was industrial-techno-metal-deat h-beats from hell. Anodyne is an aural child molester, he stabs you with blades made of breakbeats. I.......I can't go on......

Stripe pats Thayl on the back.

Stripe: There there, it's okay. You're safe here. There there Thayl.

Thayl: It was great though, fucking excellent. And afterwards Mr. Alan from Decal calmed us all down with some excellent drum and bass tunes, and Maura held my hand for a while so I was okay then. My only gripe was that the whole of Anodyne's set was a pu re screaming wall of noise. It would have been nice to have had a brief breather in the form of some slower, less mind blowing sound. But then again, only the weak need to take breaks......and Anodyne certainly isn't music for the weak.