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RTE News Quotes:
These began after hearing the first quote on the news. Some good ones scattered about in there. I'll update them if I hear any good new ones on the news (when I get the time to watch it!). Mail me with some of yours if you like but make sure it's RTE News only (on RTE1 Television) and give me the date you heard it on.

"Happily married people don't go around killing each other" -- 13th February 2003
"He was just calling his spade a shovel" -- 13th February 2003
"I'm sure you don't need reminding about what today is. Cupids arrow and all that." -- 14th February 2003

Clancy Quotes:
These quotes are taken from my MS120 (First Year Mathematics for Computing) taught by the lecturer Dr Michael Clancy. He has been known from time to time to come out with some excellent quotes, here are some of them.

"The world of mathematics does not come easily packaged. The world of mathematics
is what goes on between your ears" (Followed by some twat saying "Yeah, not much" and then some exaggerated guffaws from his friends) -- 14th February 2003
"You do not get a call from up on high saying 'This is a function!'" (Followed by a nugde
in the ribs from Rob urging me to write that quote down) -- 14th February 2003
"If everyone thinks it's adequate and it's just me they'll say 'haw haw haw'" (I'ts the way he went 'haw haw haw') --17th February 2003
"I believe that's putting the cart before the horse" -- 17th February 2003
"All you have to do is stay awake. The emphasis is on staying awake" -- 20th February 2003
"Now here is where you just stay awake" -- 20th February 2003 (I think he wanted us to stay awake...)
"The slope of the line is blue over orange" (Followed by a poke from Simon to quote that) -- 21st February 2003
"You get heavier as you get older. What you're really saying is that you don't get lighter" -- 21st February 2003
"In my book, going up and down once is simpler than going up and down twice" -- 24th February 2003
"If this gets large and that gets large and your dividing by something large then the answer is very small" --24th February 2003
"I'm getting a look on peoples' faces which sort of suggests..... 'What is he taking about?'" -- 24th February 2003
"If you're going up the hill you're getting higher, if you're going down the hill you're getting lower" --24th February 2003
"Take out your biggest marker and shine it up" -- 3rd March 2003
"I know that you are all scoffing away saying 'It's obvious Michael'" -- 3rd March 2003
"x can be anything you like; sausages, dogs, cats..." -- 6th March 2003
"People who stay awake: it sometimes pays off." -- 6th March 2003
"Multiplying out something is work. That, you don't want to do." -- 6th March 2003
"It'll be good for you to hear it as well, of course, but I don't know it gives them [those who don't want to hear it again] a terrible pain in the ear as well as other parts of their anatomy" -- 7th March 2003
"The first thing you do when calculating limits is just stick in the thing" -- 7th March 2003
"But for I'm such a non-violent person, I swear I would've hit him" (When speaking of his disgust for a past student who expressed how easy they saw "L'Hôpital's Theory" to be) -- 7th March 2003
"What bothers me is a secondary conversation going on" (after lots of people having whispering coversations) -- 13th March 2003
"You can say anything you want. If it's wrong you get zero" -- 13th March 2003
"Even the dead among us must see the if" (Quoted just after he drew a massive "IF" on the blackboard) -- 13th March 2003

Appartment Quotes:
These began after many remarks made between us in our humble abode, situated in Dublin 4 (yay D4 owns you), that were worthy of recording in some form or other and just mainly Mark talking crap :o)

"I would ride Pires, he's a god" -- Aodhagan, 18th February 2003
"Agh you took me from behind you bitch" - Mark, 2nd March 2003
"The roof is looking very fluffy" - Bernard, 2nd March 2003

Miscellaneous IRC Quotes:
Just bits I came across on IRC that deserved some sort of acknowledgement.

[19:23] (^^CrAzY^^): wotchoo fidgetin wit
[19:23] * ^^CrAzY^^ looks down
[19:23] (^^CrAzY^^): ew

Redbrick Quotes:
You can get these in my heyfile.