- Business School Sydrome
Here we are back in DCU for another year. Hopes were high and
dreams aplenty during the summer only to be smashed against the
walls like some kind of breakable thing that would make a mess if
smashed against a wall. Once again, the business students decide to
congregate at the doors of the BS school. Business School Sydrome
(BSS) has been around for a number of years in DCU and seems to
infect each new breed of freshers every year. It must be stopped
soon.The infected BSS student's
are speading under the guise of a year abrod.
It's speading
faster than ever, being witnessed in
Stephen's
Green Shopping Centre, Virgin Cinemas and we even have
reports coming in from as far as Paris, New York, Hong Kong and
Baghdad, from our foreign investigators.
They must be
stopped, before it's too late...before we have our parents, roommates
and work colleagues, congregating outside the exits, blocking our way
anywhere, we will never be able to excape!
To join the anti-BSS league, the womens anti-BSS league,
or the anti-BSS youth league please mail us
here.
Join Now and you can get theis free button to add to your
website.
- Kevin (p@redbrick)
- Scandal in the House of Cain
In a quiet house located off St. Pappin's Road, mere
moments from our glorious DCU, live such elite Redbrick members as Justin
"Cain" Moran (Former-Chairperson, Republican Madman, Whiskey Connoisseur
and
Wannabe Journalist), Julie "julie" Kerrin (Current-PRO,
Former-Fresher-nymphomaniac) and several other less important girlies.
It was revealed last night, from an
informative inside-source that a scandal, which threatens to rock DCU to
its very fragile foundations, has been perpetrated from this
innocent-looking suburban
dwelling. To protect her identity we will be calling Diane "Dyslexic
Yoghurt Girl" so that nobody will be able to track her down or know that
she was our insider
source.
"Dyslexic Yoghurt Girl" (not her real name) told our investigative
team that Justin steals Toilet Paper from the less than sanitary toilets
of DCU.
*pause for
paid audience members to melodramatically act all shocked*
The Household
as a whole, have been using the unclean facilities of the university as a
source of free
toilet paper and our source told of sneaking into the toilets, unravelling
the rolls and filling up bags' as well as meetings in the Canteen, where
Justin "The
Inversoft-Baron" Moran would give carrier-bags full of stolen rolls to one
of the girls who would act much like a drug-mule to get the illicit soft
two-ply tissue out of
the reach of DCU security. It is believed that the entire household
regularly steal in this manner and that the naive girls are being used by
Moran who acts as a
"Fagin" teaching them the ways of toilet cat-burglary.
More on this story
as the situation develops (and is greatly exaggerated by me, in a sleazy
tabloid manner)
- Donal (thor@redbrick)
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