Issue 1
The Chronic
October 2002
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Other News
Date is set for 3rd Nice referendum
Waxwork model of Pat Inglesby in National Wax Museum window actually Pat Inglesby



Search for Holly and Jessica ends



Entertainment


Peter Jackson releases new 38-disk special edition DVD



Sport


Boggers beat other boggers in thrilling all-Ireland final
The Government last night revealed that a preliminary date has been set on which the third Nice referendum will be held. "We'll have it sometime around next March, depending on how badly we lose this time 'round", the Taoiseach told the Dáil, after it was agreed that if another fair and democratic poll yielded a 'No' vote again, that they would have no option.

Is that your final answer?
Government sources later confirmed that the Cabinet were trying to decide on a suitable day on which to hold the vote, - dubbed "Nice: is that your final answer?" - and were having difficulty finding a day when everybody but FF, FG and Labour members would be indesposed.

The Taoiseach also hinted that a bi-annual referendum might not be out of the question if the Government doesn't get its way soon. "Sure, if we keep having referenda, one of them eventually has to give a 'Yes' result", grinned Mr Ahern, "The laws of probability say so, so they do".

Are you sure you didn't mean to vote "Yes" the last time? Arra go on, try again there. Maybe you ticked the wrong box by accident or something.