Issue 1		The Chronic						October 2002
Front Page Other News		It's Alive!
Search for Holly and Jessica ends Entertainment Peter Jackson releases new 38-disk special edition DVD Sport Boggers beat other boggers in thrilling all-Ireland final		Dublin City - Workers at the National Wax Museum, Parnell square, on Dublin's northside were shocked yesterday to discover that the likeness of former children's TV presenter and 'poet' Pat Inglesby that sits in the entrance to the museum was actually the real person. The local eccentric - perhaps best remembered from his TV programme 'Pat's Chat' - can regularly be seen on Talbot, Westmooreland, and various other streets in our capital flogging books of his, um, unique brand of rhyme. Apparently a member of the museum staff was nearby when Mr Inglesby broke wind inopportunely. "I was sweepin the floor in front of the desk, when yer man just let one rip", said Janice O'Brien, 19, who has worked at the 'World of Wax' exhibition for almost 6 months now. "I'd always thought it was weird the way his eyes follow ya round the room, but I just thought it was really lifelike, like". As soon as he realised his cover was blown, the aging hippy asked Ms O'Brien "Would you like to buy my book little girl? It's got lovely little poems with no hard words in them!" After this was greeted with nothing but stunned silence, he quickly left the building, and has not been spotted since. Gardai have been notified, but are unsure as to how long Mr Inglesby had actually been sitting there, or what exactly he has done with his wax doppleganger.						Careful!One of these waxwork models might try to sell you some shit poetry