The Flags
Go!
Basically, this is one of those flags that if you need to ask what it means then you really don't deserve to be in a kart, or on a road, or alive, because pretty much everybody in the world recognises green as the universal signal for GO GO GO!!!!!! Now put your foot to the floor and get moving!
Slow Down
When this flag is waved, it means that some idiot has decided to crash up ahead and has ruined the hot lap you were on. Slow down and do not overtake because that idiot has likely messed up a tyre barrier, left parts of his kart or his body all over the track and has just generally been stupid.
Usually though it just means someone has spun and they need to get turned the right way again and it doesn't help if someone else drives into them head on at top speed
Let a faster driver past
So you came out to the track for a nice cruise around and you plan to hold everybody up so that if you havent been lapped then the day is a success. Well tough titties! You can't do that. If you see this flag then there is at least one kart behind you coming up to lap you. Get out of her way because she is probably racing for a new pair of Jimmy Choo's at the end of the year with her prize money and noone, not even Chuck Norris, wants to be in the way of a girl with her heart set on shoes!
Stop right now/Pit at the end of the lap
This is one of those flags that can be waved for a number of different reasons but it always means one thing for definite...something big is up. In general, when you see it with KartSoc, it means Tom Darcy is about to be banned from another track because there's been a huge accident, or the weather has made the track un-drivable. Either way, crawl around the track into the pits, or if the marshals tell you to, just stop the kart on the track. Don't get out of the kart unless you are told to and if you see beard everywhere, pray i'm ok. You don't have to pray for Tom if you don't want to.
Disquaification
So either the marshals have discovered you are actually Tom Darcy and not Jesus "The Second Coming" Christ like your sign-in sheet said, or you've been a very foolish karter. You've been caught driving recklessly and/or causing accidents. You have been disqualified, come into the pits straight away, get changed, go home and cry. Also, expect a bollocking from the marshals at the track and our own Safety Officer! Why? Because you're not in a video game with damage off and you're not 6 anymore. Karting is no longer about using the kart ahead of you as your brake or winning because you're the only kart that finishes the race! People have spent good money to enjoy themselves and don't need a tit like you spoiling it!
Race Over
Like the green flag, you shouldn't need this explained but while i'm here I may aswell. The race is over. All laps have been completed or the time is up. When you park in the pits, look in front of you and ask yourself what you can do to make sure there's less people ahead of you next time. Then, look behind you, point and laugh because you have realised how bad a karter Tom Darcy really is. :P
Other Rules/Safety Tips
Basically, karting is like sex. When it's done well it's brilliant, when it's done badly, looking back on it in future can make you cringe. Why else is it like sex? Because every lad thinks he's the best in the world at it. So, with that in mind, here are a few things to remember so that you never have to look back and cringe at a karting event.
1. Obey the marshals. It's their job to make sure you're safe, so not listening to them puts you and others at risk
2. Don't touch the engine of a kart. They get extremely hot. If you touch one, you will get burned and stupidity is not an excuse!
3. After a race, wait until every kart has stopped before you get out. If you do try to get out early, you risk getting hit by someone coming in too fast. Do you really want to chance it with a tank of petrol and a combustible engine within reach?
4. If it's wet, don't think you can tear around like normal. You will be very surprised when you get up to a decent speed on a straight, turn in for a corner, not change direction and carry all that speed into the barrier or onto the grass. If you make use of the properties of moist rubber in the bedroom, why ignore it on the track? :D
5. If you're being overtaken, don't think you can force someone off the track as a way of saving position, and don't think weaving all over the track is a smart idea aswell. A faster driver is going to get by you anyway, but if you make both of you crash too, expect the black flag! Respect the racing line. If another driver has it and the corner is tight, back off. It ain't worth the risk. If you leave him nowhere to go he can only go through you, and you can both argue over whose fault it was when you're both in the pits after being black flagged.
6. If you have long hair, tuck it into your helmet or use a hair-net. Also, do not wear any form of scarf. Trust me when I say you need to keep everything tucked and tidy. Right behind your seat is the back axle. It can turn at lightning speeds. Getting something caught in that when it's also attached to your body is extremely dangerous. Seeing someones head yanked back and being able to see the burns on their neck from a scarf from 40ft away is horrible, it's even worse having it happen to you!
7. Don't drink and kart. You're not smart, you're not cool, you're a fuckin' idiot!
Ok, so if you follow these rules and tips you are all set to really make the most of your karting experience. We want everyone to have as much fun as possible, and that fun stops if someone spoils your race, someone gets injured etc. If that's the kind of fun you're into, i'll recommend you to a good dominatrix but we have no time for you.